2 weeks of an emotional rollercoaster

As the title says, these past 2 weeks have been filled with a wide variety of emotions. I'll start on the family front...

I found out late last week that my dad did not get the prison job in Raleigh. He made like 6 trips down to Raleigh for this job, but after all that, the verdict wasn't good. It was because of the results of his psych evaluation. My dad has had some hospital visits within the last 2 years for mental health reasons and they decided basically that he wasn't "stable" for the job in the department. The thing is my dad is still working at the prison in PA, and he has for 25 years. Although he's had his bad days, he is such a hardworker and has been able to maintain his job through everything. But obviously, God has other plans for him. So, he's back to square one applying for jobs. He's very very discouraged and I find myself worrying about him because I know what he does when he feels like this. So I pray that God will watch over him and I remind him to stay strong and keep pushing through.

The couple that was going to put an offer on the house backed out at the last minute so after 7 months of being on the market, they're have been no offers. It seems like someone doesn't want my parents to move down here. Its so frustrating for me. We have a beautiful house and my dad is a great man and employee and I feel like they deserve to be able to get what they want. They sacrficed a lot over the years and they really want to be in NC living near me. Every oppurtunity is getting shot down though. I don't know.

Work has continued to be stressful. The medical issues with my client will not be going away any time soon, in fact, every day gets a little worse. My job has turned more into making her comfortable instead of having her progress. If I could make her medical issues go away, I would, but I can't, so I'm doing my best to comfort her.

After all the stress and worries the last month or so, I was due for a get away. I went to Carolina Beach for 3 days this past weekend with Molly. We stayed at Ken's place. It was seriously one of the best weekends I've had in a very long time. We did so many fun, relaxing things and it just felt amazing to see the ocean. It was also nice to spend some quality time with Molly. We have a lot more in common then I ever realized. She doesn't know it yet, but I plan on going to Raleigh a few times to go out and enjoy singledom together. But like I said, amazing weekend!

Yesterday while at work, Jim texted me and said he was coming to see me after work. I was SO excited! It's only been 3 weeks since his last visit, but I was so ready to see him. We got taco bell to eat and Coldstone icecream again. The rest of the time we just talked. It was our normal heart-to-heart conversations. He spent the night because by the time we stopped talking it was after midnight. There's some things going on with him, but for now he said it's our little secret, not even his mom knows. I love being the best friend :)

So, like I said the last 2 weeks have been filled with disappointment, frustration, worry, stress, happiness, relaxation, and excitement.

Until next time.

Lonliness with some sadness

Well, first off: Today is Jim's 24th birthday and I wish I was in Gboro celebrating it with him and his buddies instead of being stuck here in Greenville. Oh well.

The 4th of July holiday weekend had quite an array of emotions for me. On Saturday I ended up going to a friend of a friend's apartment in Raleigh to celebrate. It was really fun in the beginning: Really good food, fun conversation, and just hanging out. Slip n Slide was awesome and even though I'm still very bruised and all scratched up from it, I would do it again. As the evening wore on though, more and more people were piling into the apartment. People I obviously didn't know and people that I ended up not liking. Most of them were guys and once they got really drunk, they became really rude. The night turned into a house drinking party from back in my way early college years. I didn't like it. By midnight I wanted to sleep, because not only had I consumed more alcohol then I usually do, I don't stay awake past 10-10:30 anymore. I slept for a few hours, but was awaken by drunk people busting into the bedroom I was sleeping in and they turned on the lights. I couldn't go back to sleep after that, so I went back into the living room. It was 3:30 am and still a crap load of people there and they were still drinking. I honestly started to get irritated and pissed off because if I would have known that it was going to basically be a frat party by the end of the night, I wouldn't have went. I left at 4am for Greenville because I knew if I wanted to get good sleep I would have to go home. Anyways......

Sunday and Monday I did practically nothing. I went to the pool for a few hours, got some of my tan back, and just basically relaxed. However, on Sunday I kept seeing everyone's FB statuses about being at cookouts with family and I started to feel really sad and a little lonely. Its been 4 years since I've been able to celebrate holidays and birthdays with my family. The only holiday I'm with them is Christmas. I can honestly say that I really miss my parents and just being able to spend special occasions with them. What makes it worse is that I hardly have any friends here in Greenville to counteract the sadness I feel about being away from my parents. In Gboro, I wasn't so depressed about that because I had great friends and a great boyfriend. Here, I hardly ever go out. So day in and day out, I become sad. I cried myself to sleep last night. That's never fun. Greenville is not where I belong. I can't believe I have to spend another year here. Hopefully my parents will be down in Raleigh in a few months and I can travel to see them on the weekends.

So, that was my holiday weekend. More to come later.