Lonliness with some sadness

Well, first off: Today is Jim's 24th birthday and I wish I was in Gboro celebrating it with him and his buddies instead of being stuck here in Greenville. Oh well.

The 4th of July holiday weekend had quite an array of emotions for me. On Saturday I ended up going to a friend of a friend's apartment in Raleigh to celebrate. It was really fun in the beginning: Really good food, fun conversation, and just hanging out. Slip n Slide was awesome and even though I'm still very bruised and all scratched up from it, I would do it again. As the evening wore on though, more and more people were piling into the apartment. People I obviously didn't know and people that I ended up not liking. Most of them were guys and once they got really drunk, they became really rude. The night turned into a house drinking party from back in my way early college years. I didn't like it. By midnight I wanted to sleep, because not only had I consumed more alcohol then I usually do, I don't stay awake past 10-10:30 anymore. I slept for a few hours, but was awaken by drunk people busting into the bedroom I was sleeping in and they turned on the lights. I couldn't go back to sleep after that, so I went back into the living room. It was 3:30 am and still a crap load of people there and they were still drinking. I honestly started to get irritated and pissed off because if I would have known that it was going to basically be a frat party by the end of the night, I wouldn't have went. I left at 4am for Greenville because I knew if I wanted to get good sleep I would have to go home. Anyways......

Sunday and Monday I did practically nothing. I went to the pool for a few hours, got some of my tan back, and just basically relaxed. However, on Sunday I kept seeing everyone's FB statuses about being at cookouts with family and I started to feel really sad and a little lonely. Its been 4 years since I've been able to celebrate holidays and birthdays with my family. The only holiday I'm with them is Christmas. I can honestly say that I really miss my parents and just being able to spend special occasions with them. What makes it worse is that I hardly have any friends here in Greenville to counteract the sadness I feel about being away from my parents. In Gboro, I wasn't so depressed about that because I had great friends and a great boyfriend. Here, I hardly ever go out. So day in and day out, I become sad. I cried myself to sleep last night. That's never fun. Greenville is not where I belong. I can't believe I have to spend another year here. Hopefully my parents will be down in Raleigh in a few months and I can travel to see them on the weekends.

So, that was my holiday weekend. More to come later.