The Hallmark Holiday

As I type this entry, I am eating valentine's day chocolates that I bought yesterday for myself at a very cheap price. Every V-day that I'm alone, I always buys myself a nice box of chocolates. I haven't done that in a few years since I was with Jim, but alas the tradition resurfaced yesterday. I learned while in rehab that when you feel down to do something that makes you feel special. Now that concept might seem pretty simple, but you would be surprised how many people do not treat themselves every so often. It's become a way of life for me over the past 7 years:

* I got through a really tough week, I'm gonna rent a sappy movie and eat lots of popcorn.
* I got an A on the biggest project of the semester, I'm gonna buy a new CD that I've wanted for a long time.

Sometimes NO money is involved:

*I worked my butt off all weekend, I'm going to take a Sunday afternoon nap.

This coping strategy has worked wonders with me and all my treatment buddies. Even if there is NO time to reward myself, I do it anyways. Why not? I earned it. Yes, it's nice to have someone take you out to dinner or buy you flowers, but there is a different kind of satisfaction you feel when you purposely reward yourself. No matter how small, it does its job. So thats why on a day like Valentine's Day when everyone is showing their loved ones how much they mean to them, I buy myself a box of chocolates. It's a sign of self-love. Even though I don't always have an abundance of it, I do it anyway. Fake it till you make it.

On Sunday, I did think about Jim a lot. The last 2 Valentine's Day we shared were pretty amazing. I sort-of relived them in my head on Sunday. It made me feel better actually. I know that sounds weird, but basking in the happiness that surrounded those days put a smile on my face. And literally, in the middle of my trip down memory lane, Jim texted me to make sure I was doing ok. And by ok he meant, trying to have a good day and not being sad. What can I say he knows me too damn well! Ha.

All in all, I had a good V-day weekend. I spent Saturday night with some great girls. We ate dinner at Chicos, went to see the movie Valentine's Day (which, by the way, I loved), and then ended up sharing cookie skillets at East Coast Wings. Like I said, not bad :)

Now that the Hallmark Holiday has passed, I am looking forward to March. March has a few days in there that are pretty special to me. St. Patrick's Day has taken on a whole new meaning since 2007. While most people are getting wasted, I think about how *LUCKY* I am to have such an amazing guy in my life, together or not, since that is the day we met.

Oh and did I mention I'm seeing Jim in 2 days? Who knows what kind of stories I'll have when I return to Greenville on Friday :)